I am grateful to God for giving me the institution of marriage to help me understand who he is and how I relate to him! Let me explain what I am thinking here… When I decided I wanted to marry my wife and she decided she wanted to marry me, we had a wedding. A day we celebrated our love for one another and our devotion to one another. Wedding vows rarely speak of obedience. They speak of love, honor, comfort, help, and support; all of this undying regardless of health, status, or whether or not the other person deserves it.
On December 16th, 2007, Eden and I declared our love for one another. More than that, we declared a covenant relationship that promised devotion to one another outside of obedience, regardless of obedience. For the last 15 years, there have been times I have been an idiot… I have not put her first. I have been selfish. I have forgotten to move the laundry, water the plants, or didn’t make it home in time for dinner plans, or countless other things. Over the last 15 years, she has done some of the same, although I won’t list them here because I have been married long enough to know that would be unwise… No matter the lack of obedience or perfection, we have not doubted our love for one another or, even more than that, our commitment to each other.
Despite the perfect illustration of marriage we have in the Church, we still tend to forget our relationship with God! We are the bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:25-27) and are therefore in that same kind of covenant relationship with him. We entered into that covenant the moment we chose to believe in his death, burial, and resurrection on our behalf, by which he sanctified us and cleansed us, his bride. Yet, if you are anything like me, and a large percentage of the Church, we fall so quickly into a need to be obedient and perfect in the pursuit of God.
Every day is about doing the right thing, saying the right thing, giving the right amount, and serving the right way. If I can do enough good things; if I can just be obedient enough, I will find the desired outcome or reward. We read the Scriptures and think, time after time, that they are a list of things we need to do and things we should not do. We beat ourselves up when we fail at doing the right things with some broken understanding that we may fall just short of the love of the Father and break the covenant. How quickly and easily our marriage to the lamb becomes more about obedience than love and covenant!
Can you imagine what my marriage would be like if my wife or I had the same kind of mentality ? If marriage was about obedience, mine would have ended long ago! I am imperfect. I am not able to please my wife by doing the right thing all day, every day. If I spent every waking moment trying to live up to the marriage expectations rather than trying to love my wife, I think I would have given up by now from sheer exhaustion. It is my love for Eden that gives me the desire to please her, and without it, I would be simply disciplining myself to do what’s right, and I am not that disciplined!
It is this kind of thinking that Paul is responding to in Galatians chapter 3, and he begins with this striking statement: “O Foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified.” Essentially he calls them out saying, you know Jesus died to save you, right?!? So why are you still trying so hard to obey a law that is no longer needed? Before Christ died, the law was how we remained in covenant with him. It was not love. It was obedience! Look what Paul says in verse 10:
“10 For all who rely on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, “Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law, and do them.” 11 Now it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law, for “The righteous shall live by faith.” 12 But the law is not of faith, rather “The one who does them shall live by them.” 13 Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us…”
Before Christ died to sanctify us, his bride, we were stuck under the curse of the law. The whole point of that law was to point us to our need for a Savior. There was never any chance of us actually being saved by the law! We could not possibly be that obedient all the time! So Christ died and invited us into a covenant with him that is not earned but given!
Look a little later in verse 23:
“23 Now before faith came, we were held captive under the law, imprisoned until the coming faith would be revealed. 24 So then, the law was our guardian until Christ came, in order that we might be justified by faith. 25 But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian, 26 for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. 27 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.”
We are no longer imprisoned by the law! The law no longer guards us to keep us from living, but now, because of our groom, our Savior, we have been set free from the law! We are now justified, held in covenant, not by our own obedience and perfection, but by the love of God!
Here this believer, being in relationship with Jesus is not about obedience. It is about love!
His love for us has freed us from our need to do what is right all day, every day, and has allowed us to pursue, not perfection, but Jesus! Pursuing perfection is exhausting, never-ending, and not even possible. Loving Jesus is life-giving, freeing, and eternally rewarding!
What is really crazy is this; The more we love Jesus, the easier it is to obey him! My love for my wife gives me the desire to please her. The same is true of God! The more I spend time with him and love him, the more I will hate the things that keep me from him, like my sin! I will be far more inclined to serve God because I love Him! I will be far more inclined to share my faith with others because I want them to know the God I love with my whole heart! Obedience comes out of love!
If your pursuit of Jesus has been exhausting lately, can I encourage you to spend a whole lot less time striving and a whole lot more time trying to love Jesus? Spend time with him. Pray and read his Word, not because you are supposed to, but because you want to talk to the love of your life! Go for walks with Him. Plan time to spend with God! He is not calling you to perfect obedience, he is calling you to a covenant relationship!
A little side note, if your marriage has been exhausting lately, can I encourage you to spend a whole lot less time trying to do what’s right and a whole lot more time trying to love your spouse? Spend time with them! Hang out and talk, go for walks together, and go on dates. Marriage was never about doing all the right things but about loving each other!
